Cabin

My father is unbearable?
I don't really know where to begin or how to explain my feelings or what I should do. This isn't a simple problem and honestly im so disgusted I have gone this far to find some kinda help somehow. I'm going to explain my life and the problems as best as I can. So bare with me as I have no idea what or how I should go about this and it's probably far beyond most people's life. -I'm 27 nothing in my life was ever easy or handed to me. Which is fine because it defines a person and I'm happy about that. We have a large Italian family. My father always worked and broke his ass for everything he has. Which is a lot. He always told me "if you stick with me Nd help me you will have more knowledge then kids your age and you will be ahead of most people" which I did and I have more knowledge then most 50 year old men. I always did what I wanted paid my way. Lived at home. My first car was a BMW which I bought insured and drove off the lot at age 16. I figured if I pay for it nobody can ever take it from me because it is mine.. -We moved up here from long island and opened a lodging business in Cooperstown ny in relation to the Cooperstown dreams park which is like a baseball camp. In which we provide rooms and housing for the family's when they come for there kids. And other events as well. We own 3 houses which we bought for dirt cheap Nd me and my dad did aLl the renovations. Which we made beautiful. I have a building trades degree which I got in high school. And after high school I put my self thru. Technical school and became Honda certified to work on motorcycles. Plain and simple if it wasn't for me my fathers business wouldn't be possible since I was the one with him who did 85% of the work. To make it what it looks like today. It's been 15 years and still running. When I was in my mothers stomach my father was watching the heart monitor and I flatlined in the early am and had to be taken out c section and brought to life. After college my father told me I have to come back and help him I can't leave him like this and fuck him over . My parents Re in there mid 50s nothing I wanted in life ever mattered. My dreams didn't matter. It was Always about helping him and being there. He makes me feel like I owe him my life. Talks to me like a piece of shit. Then expects my help., believes things in his mind that aren't true. Gives me remarks about eating the food in the house. I have worked my whole life for others and him. I have and still travel the world with a motorcycle company I have finished muti million dollar log cabins. I have been by my parents side my whole life. I have super seeded a child's job to there parents but get treated like shit. And expected to still help I can't explain exactly. I'm in utter loss of words I just don't know. I break down and cry I sometimes wanna just leave and never look back I sometimes wish he never saved my life 27 years Ago. I have the patience of a saint. I honestly don't know how I do what I do and my friends say the same thing. I have an older brother and sister who moved out and have there own life's but still come around etc. I don't feel guilty but my parents can't replace me Nd have no one that does what I do nor could they pay someone to do what I do. -I'm currently redoing the upstairs of there house to finish it we raised the roof 5 feet. I currently work with traveling motorcycle company and help my parents also. They don't give me money. I get hassled about eating the food in the house. I sleep on a recliner because for the last 3 years I have no room of my own(one reason I want to finish the upstairs for my self which is ok with them) I have no place to lay my head put my cloths away I live out of back packs and suit cases constantly get hassled about the little bit of my shit I have being in there way. I don't have a lot of shit they do and the little I have makes it look like ere is shit every,where. My life I could put in the back of a 6 foot bed in a pick up truck. All my life all I ever did was help them which stopped me from doing what I want to do. All he says is " this will all be yours when I croak" but he doesn't understand I don't want his life. I don't want any of his shit. I never had my own life my life was always what they want yea I do what I want. But I'm stuck revolving around them. Since they have no one. I simply just can't leave them or go away and and start my own life. honestly love where I live. Don't mind helping them but everything I do is never good enough. My life is an obligation to help them. He tells me I need to figure out what I'm doing with my life. But I did that after high school when I went to college but it didn't matter what mattered was me being by his side working all day long and creating his business. I'm almost 50k in debt I have no medical insurance my collar bone has a grade 5 ac separation the most extreme. And I still have to work because I have no choice. Somehow when the winter comes ill try Nd get surgery I don't know how but its the only time since I'm so busy during the summer months.. I just don't know what I should do. I don't want to talk to the guy he lectures me for hrs about the same shit my whole life. Tells me I need a plan and I have to start something I have to prepare for the next 20 years but then says stick with me and I'll help you but the problem is I'm making no mon

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